Filled for Social Security
Today, I filled for Social Security Disability. For the past two years, I have received suggestions from my wife, children and friends as well as at least two physicians that I should retire and they could not understand how I have continued to work full time at a demanding stressful job.
I fought the decission to retire with all of my being but I have come to the personal realization that I am no longer able to reliably do my job, or any job. It is not one thing that forced this decision but a combination of multiple medical and mental conditions. Like a boxer that has taken too many blows, I lack the strength to even lift an arm to block the next punch! At 59 and 1/2, it is time to put up the gloves. I have always felt that I would work until I just died at my desk. I realize now, without a moment of doubt, that if I don't completely remove myself from stress; and devote myself fulltime to exercise and a healthy lifestyle that I will not live to retirement age.
I have applied for unemployability from the VA and was denied. I was denied for medical conditions that would have raised me from my current 90% rating to 100% by schedule. I was denied because my medical records didn't document a nexus, not because I didn't have the conditions. I am appealing the decision and under the guidance of my VSO and the support of my physicians, I have begun to build my argument. I truley know that I am right to request compensation and I am confident that eventually, I will get the 100% which I need to support my family.
Today, I applied for Social Security. I know that I cannot work - at any gainful employment. Sure there are days when all the stars are alligned in the proper order that I could work. I can work and work well, maybe for days or weeks at a time. But no way, am I capable of working full time or even part time without missing too much time or letting stress light the powder keg of my mental conditions (PTSD, Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder). With all the prescription medicine that I am taking, I find it next to impossible to go past mid afternoon without a nap, even on days that I have done nothing more that lay around all day!
I know that I will most likely be denied SSDI in about 4 months. I will appeal and again be denied. In about two years, I will prevail with the help of an attorney, who will get 25% of retro payments. I know this because I have never seen a physician with the intention of documenting why I could not work! I have received medical treatment with the determination to get help to continue to work! I find it distasteful to have to go back to my physcians to ask their support to document the reasons why I cannot work. I realize that any one condition examined in isolation would not support my claim for disability and that I could probably continue to work with anyone of them. It is my accumulated medical and mental conditions that form an unsurmountable barrier that blocks my ability to work.
It is going to take some effort to support my claim and I am resolved to be victorious! I would welcome any advise however.
Wish me luck.
I thank God for the existence of this board. It really helps for me to "tell" what is on my mind. I have alienated all of my friends and I feel that my loving family finds it difficult to tolerate this cranky, miserable old man!
Bob T
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